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wearing aodai on the examination,should or shouldn't?

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wearing aodai on the examination,should or shouldn't? Empty wearing aodai on the examination,should or shouldn't?

Bài gửi  nguyễn thj hòa Thu Dec 01, 2011 4:51 pm

Aodai , the traditional clothe of Vietnam, is becoming uniform in many schools. Some schools make girl students wear it on Monday , Tuesday and Saturday or even the whole week; however, my school, Hue college of foreign languages, doesn’t force them to wear it on the weekdays but on the examinations. It causes many arguments .Some people say that it is good and my school should restrict this principle. Others don’t want it to be taken. As a school girl of HUCFL,I strongly believe that girl students shouldn’t wear aodai on the examinations.
It is said that wearing aodai is to keep the tradition. Nowadays, society is more and more developing, people are attracted by modern life and gradually forget their customs. They even don’t know much about their tradition. Therefore, wearing aodai is a good way to widen their understanding of their own ancient culture .I agree with it ; however ,why not wearing aodai on some special days such as holidays or festivals but in the examinations .The main purpose of examinations is to test student’s knowledge ,not their tradition .They should concentrate on their paper ,not on their clothe .Thus ,it’s not a good idea to wear it on this occasion.
Wearing aodai is to make the uniform in school ,especially in the examinations ,hence it will look more formal .Wearing aodai makes all school girls look the same and it will not cause the discrimination ,thus ,students will feel more self-confident to complete their exam .Nevertheless ,the question is why school doesn’t make school wear aodai on the weekdays .Each examination prolongs for ten days or two weeks ,since the uniform doesn’t last for a long time .Some students don’t obey this principle ;as a result ,they look unfashionable ,not the same.
People believe that wearing aodai is a good way to limit cheating in the examinations .Because aodai has no pocket ,students can’t bring anything into examination room .Moreover ,it fits the body ,thus examinee can’t easily turn around to look at other’s paper .Hence ,the rate of cheating in examination will reduce .However, generally ,each examination room has two supervisors staying inside to observe students while doing test .In addition ,school invests lots of money in installing modern equipment such as camera ,so they can watch whatever students do inside .As a result ,they can hardly cheat in the examinations.
It is clear that wearing aodai is inconvenient .Student often live in boarding-house and many of them are far from school .so they have to go to school by bike or motorbike .Aodai has two long coat-tails ,which is easily caught in the wheel leading to suddenly accidents or causing trouble for students .Moreover, aodai is long, students have to wear a pair of high wheel shoes ;otherwise ,it will touch the ground .Since ,they will feel difficult and lose confidence while moving .In addition ,aodai fits the body ,thus in sunny days ,they will feel so hot and uncomfortable that they can’t concentrate on their paper but their clothe.
In short ,wearing aodai is a good way to keep tradition ,to make uniform and to limit cheating in the examinations .However ,the disadvantages caused by it is serious as many time as its advantages. Therefore ,the principle of wearing aodai on the examination should be ejected

nguyễn thj hòa

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Bài gửi  vuihoang Tue Dec 06, 2011 6:54 pm

clothe - clothes. your essay is good.

vuihoang

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Bài gửi  caoxuanlien Wed Dec 07, 2011 11:02 pm

Hi Hoa, it is very interesting to read your essay because of many persuasive ideas that you give to support your point of view. I just give some comments related to the sentence structures and ways of expression so that you can make your essay better. Sincerely!
- "Some people say that it is good and my school should restrict this principle" >> opposite ideas
- "why not wearing aodai on some special days such as holidays or festivals but in the examinations" >>> fragment sentence
- "However, generally ,each examination room has two supervisors staying inside to observe students while doing test" >> if you write "while doing test", it can be understood that the two supervisors do test.
- "aodai has no pocket" >> it should be "there is no pocket in ao dai"
- similarly, "However, generally ,each examination room has two supervisors staying inside to observe students while doing test" >>> there are two supervisors in each examination room...
- in some sentences, you should use a semicolon in front of transition words such as HENCE, THUS instead of using a comma

caoxuanlien

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Bài gửi  phanthiyenk6c Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:10 pm

Your topic is quite interesting. It attracts students' attention so much, especially girl students'. As a girl studying in our College, I chose your essay to read as soon as I visit the forum.
Your essay has good evidences to support your protest in wearing aodai in examminations. You are also good at grammar.
However, in my opinion, your last point is not so persuasive. When showing that wearing aodai is incovenient, you said that "Student often live in boarding-house.......causing troubles for student". This is contradictory to your before suggestion that the school should allow girl students wear aodai on just weekdays or festivals. Because when wearing aodai on other days, the students will have troubles like these. If you concentrate on difficulties students have in just examinations, your argument 'll so stronger.
In adition, you have some small mistakes in grammar. For instance, "trouble"-->"troubles", "clothe"-->"clothes","is" in the sentence before the last one-->"are". In using word, I think it's better when using"lead" or "allow" in stead of "make" in the second sentence.
Good luck!

phanthiyenk6c

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Bài gửi  nguyễn thj hòa Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:08 pm

thanks for your coments.it very useful.i appreciate your ideas.

nguyễn thj hòa

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Bài gửi  tranthikimnhung Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:16 am

Hi Hoa!
Your topic is very interesting.
Your essay is quite good.
Anyway, I have some comments:
" Nevertheless, the question is why school doesn't make school". School => school girls.
In your second last paragraph, you said that " Students .....motobike". I think it does not convince enough. Some people can argue that the students can wear it at school instead of at their house".

tranthikimnhung

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